An Artistic Journey, Part 1

In planning for this year’s sabbatical, it worked out that it would begin on Molly’s and my 35th wedding anniversary. So wanting to do something to mark that milestone, we decided to go to Ghost Ranch near Abiquiu, New Mexico. Ghost Ranch is owned by the Presbyterian Church (USA) and has served as a retreat and conference center for the church since the 1950s or so. I’ve heard about Ghost Ranch for years and decades, but it was always so far away as to be somewhere between a mythological place or just not on my radar. Molly, having grown up in Colorado, had also heard much about GR but had never been there, either. In more recent years, particularly as my interest in astronomy led me to New Mexico a couple times, I started to think that going to Ghost Ranch could actually happen, but I never found the programming to match with my interests. They always seemed very arty, in many cases not especially religious, and kind of pricey on top of it. Well, since we weren’t looking for continuing education or professional development but sabbath and celebration time, and since we had funds for the sabbatical, we decided to check it out.

My initial interest was in an archaeology-paleontology course they were offering wherein guests would get to work an actual active archaeological site and dig for fossils. This sounded really interesting and fit with my sabbatical theme of time and eternity. I did wonder about how much fun it would be to be digging in the desert for 8 hours a day in July. Ultimately, it turned out that all the nice suites and single rooms with their own bathrooms were booked for that week, and we would have ended up in more of a dorm situation. That was a deal breaker. The week before that, they offered a class on how to put together a children’s book. That got Molly very excited, as she’s had an idea for years. I found a class on landscape and still life painting that I thought would be fun. So we signed up.

I will try to say more about Ghost Ranch itself and my experience of it in another post, and I’ll let Molly tell about her class where she will. For now, let me tell you about my painting class. I chose it because on my last sabbatical seven years ago I took a class on painting icons at the Siena Retreat Center near Racine, WI. I really enjoyed the work and turned out to be not bad at it for a first-timer. I haven’t done much painting since, and what I have done was working on a couple icons. So a class on the more traditional endeavors of landscapes and still-lifes offered a way to expand my artistic horizons, be creative, and try something I’ve always kind of wanted to do but was afraid to try. This last is actually a recurring theme in my life. I have had a weird neurosis that I feel like I have to have mastered a thing before I can try doing it. I’m getting better, but I’m still easily intimidated by new things. Thus, I guess this painting class was really a spiritual exercise for me, even if no explicit spirituality ever came up.

As with my icon class, I was in the minority here. I was the only man in the class of nine, and I was the only raw beginner. So much of a beginner that I had to ask my artist daughter about what some of the items on the list of supplies we were suppose to bring were and where I could get them. Daughter was very helpful, and I spent a bunch of money buying these mysterious tools. I did not spend any on paint, as I had bought some after the icon class, most of which seemed to be okay still, and also a box of eight 8-oz. bottles of basic colors that I got during the pandemic when I thought I’d be doing a lot more icon painting. Ha, ha, ha. Anyway, I arrived with my brand new unopened palettes and palette knives and my tiny old skanky paints and my “high quality” brushes (the fact that it says “High Quality” on the package is a dead giveaway that they are not, I discovered), and no idea what to do with any of them. Meanwhile, my classmates were all well equipped with piles of paints in well-worn cases with obviously proper brushes and tons of talent and experience, as would soon become obvious.

I thought KB, our instructor, would give us some lessons at the beginning of the day, and we would work out our artistic vision through the day, or something like that. It turns out that (1) most of the class knew what they were doing, and (2) KB is not that kind of a teacher. So we started by going outside on the patio of the art center to just start painting a landscape plein air (in the plain air, or outside). KB did give us a little demonstration of how she would begin, which was very helpful, because otherwise I was quite in the dark. Now, I’ve been drawing since I was a child, and I’m not bad at it. I have a good eye, I think, and can translate what I see to a page with a pencil. What I discovered quickly about painting (most of which I already knew) was that I knew nothing about technique, nothing about what sort of brush to use for what, nothing about how to mix paint to get a color you want, and nothing about how acrylic paints perform on a canvas. Well, that’s not entirely true. I had done those couple of icons, so I’ve mixed a little bit of paint, and I know that on an icon you thin the paint a lot an put on many, many layers to get the desired result. I have also watched a lot of Bob Ross, but he always worked with oils. So that’s what I had to draw from, as it were, as I started trying to paint the Ghost Ranch landscape.

Surprisingly, after 45 minutes I had covered most of a 9″x12″ canvas board with something that very generally resembled the scene before me. Somehow I had managed to overcome the tyranny of the white canvas and my fear of failure to produce…. something. Yeah, the really amazing part to me is that I consciously gave myself permission to do it wrong. Which, just to be clear, I did. Well, no, that’s not really fair. When it comes to art, what is right and what is wrong? My classmates and I all produced paintings of the same mountain in the distance, and not one of them looked like any other. I was certainly frustrated with mine not being “perfect” and a bit embarrassed that it wasn’t better than it was, but it was, after all, my first landscape painting ever. What do you want?